CTA: Hello Neil.
Neil: Hello CTA.
CTA: Neil, what's it like being in Cancel the Astronauts.
Neil: It's like a dream that you never wake up from. A good dream though, like the ones when you get to be the boyfriend of the girl that you like but that in real life doesn't like you.
CTA: Uh-huh, and what's it like to work with Matt Riley, lead singer of Cancel the Astronauts.
Neil: No one really works with Matt Riley, lead singer of Cancel the Astronauts. Firstly, because it doesn't ever feel like work. It's a pleasure just to be associated with such a talented, and, frankly very handsome, man. Secondly, you don't work with him because work suggests some sort of effort on the part of the person that isn't Matt Riley, when in fact Matt Riley does all the work, such is the drive and ambition of the (frankly very handsome) man.
CTA: If you could describe him in three words then what would it be?
Neil: Three words isn't enough. It would take a Proustian number of words, as well as handy diagrams by Da Vinci and a nice cake by Delia Smith, to even get close to describing him. Still that would be but a shadow of the man himself.
CTA: Someone once said he was quite short. Is that true?
Neil: No. Not at all. No. He's average sized at the very least, and was once described by the police as '6ft'. Think of him as bigger than Jesus, if Jesus had been in The Beatles.
CTA: Has he ever performed any miracles?
Neil: I haven't seen him perform any miracles no, but I know people who have.
CTA: Thanks Neil, this has been very illuminating. Any last words?
Neil: Before I die?
CTA: No, before we finish the interview.
Neil: If I did die then Matt Riley could quite possibly bring me back to life.
CTA: Okay Neil, that's quite enough now thank you very much.